Generally I've never had anything against Avocados and whilst they simply haven't achieved the aspiring heights of say Asparagus - they quietly do their part in a determined and respected way. Some may argue that they do their bit on the Guacamole front or even adding a new twist to Prawn Cocktail - but my support for avocado was literally slashed on Sunday.
Why do they have to have stones that a) serve no purpose (apart from being the seed of another avocado plant) and b) so bloody stubborn that they cannot be removed without welding equipment and are often figures of inspiration to barnacles and other limpet like creatures.
How many times have I watched Jamie Oliver and seen that chubby mockney face in complete honesty remove an Avocado Stone when its quite obvious that its either a) a theatrical avocado or b) someone really hard has loosen it beforehand so he beam 'Pukka' at the camera.
So picture the scene - last Sunday, friends for dinner and Avocados to be peeled, stoned and sliced. Innocently, the memories of so many cookery programmes watched half-arsed flood back to me...
[Slice the Avocado in Half]
Done
[Slight twist the two halves and remove the half without a stone]
OK
[Using the knife, lightly strike the stone with the blade]
With you
[Twist slight and stone will easily come free]
The top (or exposed) half of the stone cracks off
Er. Jamie?
At this point - I decided to improvise. I tried a corkscrew, but this had the effect of chewing up the stone. I tried a spoon, but this messed up the avocado (think of the presentation of dish people). So, I got my trusty knife and tried to gently insert it through the stone so I could flip it out. Feeling a bit of resistance I applied some more pressure and at this point it went all wrong...
The knife sailed through the stone, through the soft fleshy skin of the avocado and into the soft fleshy part of my finger. Now I would hasten to add that this wasn't no mere nick - it went to the bone and lower third of my finger sliced across looking like a hungry Pac-Man like figure. Boy did it hurt.
Anyway, after some messy bandaging and explanations of certain four-letter words to the nipper, I ended up at the hospital for stitches. Which of course is not one of my favourite ways to spend a Sunday afternoon - having some a bored nurse looking down at me, slowly shaking her head thinking "Avocado's.....when will people learn".
No wonder the US banned them...