Let's face it, British politics is a bloody mess. We have 3 main political parties with a fourth looking frighteningly close to actually achieving something.
Let's take a look at the people running the country and the people who think they can do better ...
Labour - run by Tony "Satan" Blair who also happens to be the current Prime Minister. Tony "Satan" Blair (or just Satan for short) looked promising when he first got into power (don't they all?) with some popular tax cuts and policies. Unfortunately, he's started to do a Maggie (Margaret Thatcher style insanity and power lust) of late, sweeping aside his main political rivals - the House of Lords - and abolishing all sorts of ancient titles and posts in the political system. The highest legal authority in the country is now a panel of judges appointed by the government and the 2nd political house, the House of Lords, is also full of hand picked "Tony's Cronies" who tow the Labour party line. The justification for removing all the opposition to the government's policies was to improve democracy. Apparently, having nobody watching over the government and stopping them doing stupid things is a step forward for democracy. As well as the disasterous, hugely unpopular domestic policies he's somehow managed to come up with he has also allied himself with the most dangerous man in the world. No, I don't mean Osama Bin Laden, I mean George W Bush (I have my own theory what the W stands for and it rhymes with Banker). Tony is so far up George's arse that if he sneezed he'd give him a free colonic irrigation. The man is so false - I see him on TV spouting his foul lies and propoganda and I'm raging to myself "You stupid people, how can you believe a word he says? He never speaks without carefully thinking out what he says first and he does it all with over-expresive hand gestures and that stupid cheshire cat grin on his face. How can you trust this man?".
Conservative - run by a man called Micheal Howard which the Conservative Party expelled from their ranks for bad behaviour but brought back into the fold because he was the only conservative who they thought stood a cat in hell's chance of winning a general election. Great morals there, inspires trust. The conservative party produced one great leader, Margaret Thatcher, who then proceeded to go utterly insane and plunged the country into the depths of dispair and destitution inflicting the country's most unpopular tax in history which caused riots in the streets. The conservative party's election campaign for this year's local elections was "Let down by Labour? Vote Conservative." They didn't even campaign on the strength of their policies (basically the suicidal political and economic isolation of the UK) but pinned their hopes on enough disaffected Labour voters throwing themselves on their swords and voting Conservative.
Liberal Democrat - the party I usually vote for simply because they have a relatively sane and sensible mix of policies. They lack any real experience running the country but that's maybe not such a bad thing because the other two main parties have made a pretty horrendous job of running the country even with a few hundred years of experience between them. Their main problem is that the party is run by a ginger haired Scotsman with a personality transplant. The previous leader, Paddy Ashdown, was a bit of a muppet but he was a strong character and an ex-military man with some backbone.
UK Independence Party - this party defies belief. They are on the verge of taking the #3 spot in British politics despite being a single issue party. The UKIP was started by a xenophobe businessman and it's existance is solely for the purpose of scaremongering the British public into thinking that all Europeans are the spawn of Satan and the only way to salvation for the masses is to brick up the channel tunnel and remove the UK from the European Union completely. The fact that a third of the UK's trade is done with the EU on preferential trade agreements is not an issue apparently. We will all be better off losing our biggest preferential trade agreements and the trade we get just because we're in the EU. We will be able to trade more freely with the rest of the world - like the worlds biggest economy, the United States, which can't afford to buy many UK goods any more because the exchange rate has almost reached $2 to the pound. Worryingly, despite being blatant xenophobes, the UKIP has still managed to gain a lot of support amongst the older generations who "still remember the way they robbed us when we had decimalisation" and "don't want to be told what to do by the Germans". The UKIP, like home security salesmen, prey on these people and the poorly educated tabloid newspaper reading masses, appealing to their distorted sense of patriotism by explaining to them that the country isn't in the shit because of the way it's being run into the ground but because of those damn foreigners.
I could rant on about those great economists, the Green Party, or the Monster Raving Loony Party but there's little point as they're about as effective as a chocolate teapot. So, having got this out of my system, I will now go to bed and dream of a paradise island with no bickering political parties hurling sleaze at each other and low taxes. 320 days of sunshine every year and a 10mbit internet connection might also come into it somewhere.